"We have a problem in this country. Too many bad desk items. Pencil cups. Cat pictures. Family photos. Actually family photos are good, especially of Ivanka and Melania. Eric - not so much. Bookshelves are overcrowded with terrible knick-knacks. Sad. The world needs a STRONG icon!
I'm here to fix all of that. I'm here to bring attention to what working people need. They need a better conversation starter. A better memento. A better collectible. I'm here to make everything better. I'm perfect for gifts, the BEST really.
My hair, my hair is SO LUXURIOUS! You can style it to the Left or to the Right. Preferably Right, but It doesn't matter because everybody loves me! If someone doesn't love me, I don't care. They're LOSERS.
America, I want to make collectibles great again for EVERYONE!" ~President Trump Troll